Watching the Frontline video “Poor Kids” made me extremely emotional for various reasons. I watched this video with my roommate in our living room on Sunday afternoon, curled up on our couch, with hot coffee and full bellies. We were sheltered, warm, and completely safe. We did not have the gnawing worry that these children and their parents are faced with every single moment of the day. That became increasingly apparent to me the further into the segment we got. I felt riddled with shame and guilt because I am oftentimes so fixated on ‘problems’ in my life that are minuscule compared to the problems thousands of Americans face every day. Problems that, a few short years ago, my family and I stared directly into the face of.
The segment threw me back to times in my childhood where my mother, sister, and I were in semi-similar situations as these families were. For years, we bounced from house to house, sometimes baring the cold winter months in houses where we could not afford to turn the heat on. We would layer up and sleep in the same bed to stay warm and stay late at school to write our papers because we could not afford internet. My sister and I stood in the lunch line at school, acutely aware that when we scanned our fingers to get our lunch, everybody behind us would see that our lunches were free. Looking back, it angers me that our school did not do a better job of privatizing this fact. Although life has gotten increasingly easier for me since coming to school, I am constantly burdened with the overwhelming guilt that my mother still lives her life without many of the luxuries I now experience.
These families, although impoverished, showed extreme closeness and togetherness. If they must live in extreme poverty, they seemed to accept it (although saddened by it) and allowed themselves to be in it together. They were innovative when it came to making things work. For example, the Hageland family that had to move out of their spacious home because they could not afford the mortgage, electricity, and water on top of car payments, groceries, and gas had to settle for a motel room. They were not given a mini fridge to hold cold items, so they put their cold items in the sink and used ice from the ice machines. This is a clear example of basic survival and needing to be innovative to do it. The kids had to eat canned foods because they had no stove or microwave, and although it was clear that they wished they could have warm food and fuller bellies, they did not complain about it. The Smith family had many issues with their home and vehicles, so they had to be innovative in order to wash their dishes, take showers, use the toilet, and get to work. They also did not turn the heat on because it saved electricity and bundled up instead. They did not have internet or cable because those two things are not “necessities,” which was hard on the kids. It later came out that Britney was bullied extremely bad at school because the kids knew she was poor. It showed the families six years later, and although they all seemed to be doing better and the kids were not getting into trouble and things like that, they still struggled to make ends meet. It was obvious that the children in the families hoped for a better life for themselves, and Kaylee, Johnny (family), and Britney all seemed to have the most motivation to get out of poverty by going to college.
Kids should not have to live in constant worry and fear because of money. In this frontline video, all of the kids were very aware of the lack of jobs for their parents and the real possibility that when they grow up, they are going to struggle to make ends meet too. It is something that, as a child under the age of 18, you should never have to worry about, and the insecurity and stress they have endured as children will impact them greatly as adults. Of course, understanding the value of money is extremely important, but there is a difference between understanding its value and fearing that you won’t have any of it. For me, I now live my life terrified to spend any of my money. In a way, I feel greedy because I struggle to let myself spend money on other people and I never want to be a selfish person. Sometimes it feels like it physically pains me when I spend any money, whether it is on groceries, clothes, or my friends/family because my childhood created those anxieties. I empathize with the kids in this video because I know that they will be faced with those same anxious burdens as adults.
A few quotes by the kids that really stuck out to me were, for starters, Kaylee Hagelan at age 15 saying, “I think I’ve just gotten so used to bad things happening, I just don’t care anymore.” This made me feel so devastated because, at the young age of 15, she had pretty much lived a life full of let-downs. They bounced from place to place and struggled financially for her entire life. At that point in her life her grandma and mom had just been diagnosed with cancer, and her mom was not even able to see a specialist in Iowa because they would not take her Medicaid. Another quote that stuck out to me was Roger Smith at age 19 saying, “I just think at this point in my life I don’t need to be happy right now, I need to make everything I need to and get the ball rolling.” He had to sacrifice his own happiness in order to work full-time to help provide for his family, and it did not matter if it was not what his dream was. He felt responsible for his family because he loves them and they needed his help to live. These people have to sacrifice every single day for their families, and society has still made them out to be lazy, greedy, and dependent on the government. So many people are blind to the truth and this video could help a lot of people see how. The last quote that stuck out to me was Johnny at age 19 saying, “Everybody knows the American dream is go to college and go live your life, that’s all I wanna do, living my dream and take care of my family.” This reiterates the fact that these families have a closeness that families who have never experienced poverty may not have. These kids know the value of sticking together and unity because they grew up in a world where all they had was one another. That is an important take-away from this video. Although they did not have money and struggled to live, they had one another.
All in all, this video pulled out a lot of emotions for me that I did not even realize I had. I was triggered at times by how similar some of these kids' situations were to many of mine growing up. I was reminded why I am going into the field I am going into and why I am so passionate about helping make these kids lives better in whatever way I can. It is important to understand that poverty is complex and deeply impacts millions of Americans every single day, including children. There has to be something that can be done and I hope to be alive to see the day when that happens.
it is very good to gain some perspective on what hassles and irritations in life are worth getting excited about. It is also important to realize that social strength, bonding, and human qualities are not dependent upon wealth. Persons or societies with material deprivation or economic poverty might have spiritual wealth or social riches far beyond what materially comfortable have. This truth has to be recognized, but it should be balanced with the insight that the sort of poverty that creates insecurity and chaos and many emotional crises is generally damaging to the brain, and causes much misery, and is at the root of many problems. I share your appreciation for how the documentaries show these aspects: the strength of the characters and the families, as well as the stresses and frustrations and pain suffered as a result of their poverty.
As to guilt: in mild doses surely guilt is a good thing to have, if we use it to guide our thoughts and behaviors toward ways of living that do not bring guilt into our hearts. But it is also possible to over-indulge in guilt, and let it become a limitation and obstacle to getting on in life. There can likewise be a wide range of healthy and functional relationships to have with money/wealth. Our society suffers perhaps too much from greed and a sort of materialism that leads many into hollow and empty lives devoid of deeper meaning or connection. Yet, people can go too far in opposing money and wealth, forgetting that the object ought top be a health emotional detachment in which we shed excessive desire or excessive disgust in relation to money and material treasure.
Sometimes social workers can go too far in being uncomfortable with money, and fall into an asceticism where they tolerate pay that is too low. This can cause some problems for charitable work, as we have a double-standard and disapprove of rewarding philanthropic workers with financial security. Social workers are prone to the other problem as well, assuming that money and material goods will solve problems. It is true that material assistance that removes the stress of precarious living and establishes security in housing and food will indeed solve many problems, but surely once the problem of meeting basic needs for security are met, the real problem that follows is finding meaningful lives in which we can flourish in several dimensions of existence, and material abundance isn't really one of those dimensions. Does having lots of stuff give us greater fulfillment or better lives? It may do so to the extent that we gain greater freedom and range of choice when we have more money, but that is a product of our society that relies so much on money to open opportunities and possibilities, and don't you think we could organize society in such a way that many possibilities could be set before us where money was not requisite for participating?
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