Student recommends parenting classes to families investigated by DCFS

 Honorable State Senator Doris Turner and State Representative Michael J. Coffey, Jr.,

As my elected representatives in the Illinois General Assembly, I know that you are concerned with the well-being of Illinois Children.  I’m writing to you to make you aware of the benefits of parenting classes that help prepare adults for de-escalation in emotional conflict situations and help them understanding how to help children who have been traumatized. You may have opportunities to advocate for policies that would make this sort of training available to families that need it.

I believe that our community should offer parenting classes that teach parents trauma based care, to those who need them. These classes should be optional for those who want to better their parenting styles and they should be mandatory for parents who have had a legitimate DCFS claim against them but want to continue to have custody of their children. We have a lot of children who are living in unsafe homes but are being overseen by a caseworker, this is due to a high volume of abuse cases and the low availability of foster placements. Mending the biological home will deplete some of the need for foster placements by making the biological home safer. 

These classes should include an overview of trauma based care so that these parents know how to help their child heal rather than worsening their situation. This would be difficult for a lot of parents because, in many cases, it means accepting that they have caused their child trauma. This is a necessary step because these parents need to accept that mistakes have been made in order to move forward and heal from them. 

The classes should also include deescalation techniques. Deescalation techniques are used to defuse an intense situation—the type of situation that has the potential to become violent. This would be useful in preventing arguments from getting out of hand. This is used when someone is starting to exhibit defensive or aggressive behaviors, such as breaking things or hitting. When a child gets to this point, it can be very frustrating and scary for a parent. Therefore if they have the tools to talk the child down, the adults are much less likely to resort to yelling and even hitting. I believe putting parents through this training would lessen instances of child abuse because the parents would have a safe and effective way to deal with difficult family situations.

The classes should also include education on proper nutrition and hygiene. Many of these parents miss out on teaching their kids about the basics of life. This may be because they were never taught or because their lives are so hectic that the basics fall to the sidelines. Either way children need to be taught how to properly care for themselves and in order to do that, the parents need to be taught how to teach these basics. 

I work in a local elementary school and I have several students who are being managed by a caseworker, but it's not enough. Take “Jaiden” (not the child’s real name for confidentiality)  for example, he is living with his mother and step father and has a severe emotional disability. The parents both work full time to provide for the family and seem to care greatly for the child. Every night the stepfather drinks after work and then becomes violent with the mother. The mother is frustrated with doing all of the household work and working a full time job, along with caring for her disabled son and being physically assaulted every night. She lets this frustration lead her to handle behavioral issues with her son by striking him. She also recently stopped doing any laundry or bathing the child. I truly believe that these parents love and care for their child, but the situation in their home is no longer a healthy one to raise a child in. This could be solved with parenting classes. Knowing how to deescalate themselves and each other could prevent the abusive situations from occurring, and knowing how to talk to the child about why the previous situation was not a healthy one can help them heal from the trauma already caused. With these situations taking less time and energy from the adults of the family the household basics, such as food preparation and laundry, can start taking place again.

For families like Jaiden’s, these classes could mean the difference between children staying in their homes and children being pulled into the foster care system. I think it is only fair that we give these parents the tools they need to raise their children in safe, loving homes. While we should give these parents the chance to grow, we also need to give their children a chance to have a happy and safe childhood, therefore I believe the best solution is to provide community parenting classes.

These classes would require funding from the state, but eventually it will save the state money by lessening the amount of children who need to be overseen by a caseworker. It could also cause these children to grow up to be productive members of our community, rather than growing up to be in a mental hospital or prison, which would also save our communities money in the long run. 

There is also a chance that people who need the class will not sign up on their own. I think this class should be open to anyone who would like to attend, but the majority of attendees would probably be required by the state to complete the class. This would be established by requiring parents who reported to DCFS and it is found that the claim is legitimate, being court ordered to attend the class.