Reflections on Kinship Care

 “According to the Illinois Children and Family Services Act (20 ILCS 505/7), when DCFS takes custody of a child, the Department must make reasonable efforts to find and notify all adult relatives who are ready, willing, and able to care for the child. DCFS should place the child with a relative if that relative can adequately provide for the child’s safety and welfare and it is consistent with the child’s best interests.” https://law.justia.com/codes/illinois/2015/chapter-20/act-20-ilcs-505/?utm_source

Sometimes I think about how the child welfare system is supposed to protect kids, but it doesn’t always protect them from everything. In Illinois, when kids get taken away from their parents, they can be placed with relatives instead of strangers, and on the surface that sounds like a good thing. Being with family feels safer than being with people you don’t know. But just because someone is family doesn’t automatically mean the home is healthy.

I’ve heard real stories around me that make this complicated. A girl in my class, said she got taken from her mom and sent to live with her grandparents. She said it did get her away from the main problem, but the emotional abuse didn’t stop. That stuck with me because people assume “grandparents = safe,” but that’s not always true. Kids can still suffer in quieter ways that don’t leave bruises.

I’ve also seen this in my own family. My uncle and his girlfriend were on drugs and had a baby. The hospital found drugs in the baby’s system, so DCFS got involved. My step-aunt was a certified foster parent, so they placed the baby with her. But she was close to my uncle and his girlfriend and lived less than two miles away. That means there wasn’t much distance from the problem. Later, because of her health issues, she couldn’t keep caring for him. Then he went to my grandmother, who literally lived upstairs from my uncle. Eventually my parents took him in. In the end, my uncle and his girlfriend gave up guardianship because they couldn’t get better.

Watching this happen made me feel like the system tries, but the policies don’t always match real life. Kids get moved around again and again. Family members might love the child but still be connected to the same unhealthy environment. Just placing a child with “any” relative doesn’t guarantee safety or stability.

I believe in DCFS. I even want to work there one day because I want to help kids. I know they have a hard job, and they see the worst situations. But believing in something also means wanting it to improve. A policy that could help is making sure kinship placements (placing kids with relatives) have stronger check-ins and emotional wellbeing evaluations, not just a quick background check. Maybe there should be required counseling for the child and parenting support for the relatives. Maybe there should also be more distance from the original harmful environment when possible.

I’m not saying don’t place kids with family. Family can be the best option. I’m just saying it shouldn’t be automatic without deeper investigation. Kids deserve not just a familiar home, but a healthy one. If the goal is protecting children, then emotional safety should matter as much as physical safety.

Sometimes I think people forget that kids remember everything. They remember the yelling, the instability, the feeling of not knowing where they’ll live next. Policies aren’t just rules on paper they shape real childhoods. And childhood is something you can’t redo.

If I ever work in DCFS, I want to be the kind of worker who looks beyond “good enough” and asks, “Is this truly safe for this child to grow up in?” Because every kid deserves more than just surviving. They deserve peace.